


Dirty Little Secret

by unidentifiedcephalopods



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4017232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unidentifiedcephalopods/pseuds/unidentifiedcephalopods
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are both keeping a big secret from the other and neither of them has a clue. Basically Dan is a beta and he and Phil read the fics he betas together. This fic will probably be super fluffy and there's another fic mentioned that we will write if y'all like this one at all :). We know we went a year without uploading, but we've actually written a bunch of chapters in advance so we promise we will actually be uploading weekly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys so we are super excited about this fic. We also promise that we aren't secretly Dan or Phil no matter how cool that would be

Dirty Little Secret  
Dan could hear Phil typing through the bedroom wall and hoped he was settled in for the night. Before he found out he was lactose intolerant this would be the moment Phil went to get himself a glass of milk and dan did not want to be caught with his dirty little secret. He tilted his laptop screen forward so he could close it quickly and pretend to be asleep if he had to. The faint glow of the AO3 page illuminated his features in his otherwise dark room. It was about 2 AM so Dan was pretty sure he was safe, unless Phil decided they should play Mario Kart like he did last night—God he is such a child—when Dan had been trying to work. He hears the typing in Phil’s room stop and holds his breath and grips the top of his computer ready to slam it shut, but then he hears Phil’s steady breathing and realizes he’s safe.  
He opens his computer all the way up and stares at the paragraph he was working on getting just right. _Phil blinked up at the taller boy, shocked. “You… you love he?” _well there’s one thing he can fix, damn typos. _“You… you love me?” he gulped “Well, of course I do you idiot, you’re Phil and I’m Dan” _Dan smiles at his computer screen, it was so cheesy but in just the right way. He knew if either of them ever really fell in love that would be exactly how it would happen. Phil’s bed creaked in the other room. Dan nearly had a heart attack. God, he would absolutely die if Phil knew that he did this in his free time. Sure, they read the crack fics together but that’s just fucking around, and when they read the less creepy ones it’s still just to have a laugh. Dan was the one who wasn’t creeped out by the people writing about them. It made him feel famous, like people cared about his life. Of course, he never imagined he would be the one writing fics about him and his BEST FRIEND. Then again, he never really was good at the writing, he just did it for a little while so that he would be a better beta. Betaing he was good at. He loved making sure all the plot points lined up with life just right and that Phil sounded adorable and innocent but just snarky enough, you know, like Phil. He especially loved all the crazy AU’s that people came up with, hell someone wrote the most amazing fan fiction about him as a florist a fucking florist. It was possibly the best fic Dan had read and somehow captured the essence of him and Phil with barely any basis in their real life stories. AU’s made him feel less awkward about it too, it wasn’t really about him and Phil if it was about two actors who started out hating each other.  
He turns back to the fic he’s editing, it seems like it has a lot of potential, it’s a chaptered one that’s about halfway through and really starting to get intense. “I’m sorry Dan, I just don’t think I feel the same way. I, I just want to stay friends with you.” Cunt. Dan had not been expecting that, the author had basically promised that this chapter would be the one where the boys started dating but then this happened. He had to admit that it was clever, and it really fit in with the side of Phil the story was showing off but, but, they had to get together. This is the problem with betaing for really good fics, you start to get way to invested and Dan only betaed the good fics. Once he started betaing people began to realize that he was really good at getting the voices just so and making the fic seem super realistic even if it was like a space AU or some shit. Of course, unlike on every other website Dan didn't have the same user name for fan fiction sites, for fan fiction he blended in nice and anonymous, nerd4Lyfe23 could have been anyone but as far as the rest of the world was concerned, he wasn’t. He finished reading the chapter and sent the ok to the writer excited for the reviews that would come pouring in when the chapter went live tomorrow morning. Sometimes, he would try and get Phil to read the fics he had betaed claiming that a fan had suggested they read it, this particular fic Home on Sunday was one of the ones where he had succeeded. They read the newest chapter out loud to each other every Wednesday morning over their cereal and coffee. He couldn’t wait to see what Phil thought of this chapter, he thought it was particularly brilliant. ____

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••  


Phil couldn’t wait, today was the new chapter of Home On Sunday and like always he and Dan were going to read it over their breakfast. He secretly loved reading fan fiction with Dan, he couldn't help it, it was this weird guilty pleasure of his. He knew that Dan just thought it was funny but to Phil it was sweet, fan fiction was people who cared about their lives. Home on Sunday was something totally different though, they had never read a chaptered fic together and they usually just read AU stuff so that it didn’t feel awkward. HOS was in the canonverse and was set at their current ages, it was so close to real. For some reason though, it never made things awkward between them. The two boys could read the romantic scenes out loud to each other and it never felt weird, it just felt like two friends having fun and enjoying their fandom.  
Today was Phil’s turn to read aloud so when Dan plops down Phil snatches his laptop, sticking his tongue out at Dan’s half hearted attempts to hold onto it. He laughs as he places the computer down and taps the cat sticker that Dan could never get off.  
“This laptop is basically 50% mine stop being such a baby.” At this Dan pouted and took an angry chomp at his cereal.  
“Just read the damn fanfic, I know you want to,” he said tauntingly. Phil makes a point of opening Dan’s mac as slowly as possible.  
_“It was midnight, technically Monday, Phil had to be nearly home now. Like always Dan lay sprawled on the couch waiting up for his best friend, however tonight wouldn't be like always. Tonight would be the night Dan finally admitted what he had known for the last 6 months. Tonight would be the night he would tell Phil he was in love. Suddenly there was a ruckus at the door, Phil had never learned how to come in quietly and tripped over the pile of shoes at the front of the flat.”_  
“How realistic”, Dan interrupted breaking out into laughter when Phil glared at him with his iciest blue eyed stare. “Although you would probably break something too.”  
“Shut up butterfingers, drop any young children lately?” Phil quipped, looking triumphant. “May I continue, or are you not finished?” He takes Dan’s quite grumbling as a yes and continues reading. _“‘Dan you up?’ Phil whispers, as if the loud crashing wouldn’t have woke the brunette up anyway. ‘When am I not up you turnip? Besides you could have woken the whole bloody city with that entrance.’ Phil can’t help but giggle at that but it turns into a hiccup and Dan realizes Phil is just a little tipsy…” The chapter heats up from there and Phil gets so caught up in reading it he almost forgets that he is supposed to be eating breakfast, he looks down at his bowl to see what once was frosted shreddies that is now nothing more than a pile of soggy mush. He pushes on anyway, coming to the end of the chapter. “‘So, I can’t tell how drunk you are right now so maybe this will just be a dress rehearsal, but I have something to say’ Dan stumbles over his words, rushing to spit them out. ‘Fire’ Phil says chuckling to himself and swaying just the tiniest bit. ‘I think I’ve fallen in love with you Phil’ ‘You… you love me?’ Phil gulped ‘Well, of course I do you idiot, you’re Phil and I’m Dan’ ‘I’m sorry Dan, I just don’t think I feel the same way. I, I just want to stay friends with you.’ Phil didn't even look sorry and that’s what hit Dan like a canon ball to the stomach. Phil didn't even care that he was standing there smashing Dan’s hopes against the wall. ‘Dan, I have a girlfriend, I thought you knew, where did you think I went every Sunday?’”_ Phil shut the computer and smiled at his roommate. “Not a bad chapter.”  
“Not bad? Not bad? Are you mad? That was brilliant! And that twist? That was crazy I never saw that coming! What do you mean not bad?” Dan shouted incredulously. Phil tried to hide his smirk. Of course it had been a great chapter, maybe the best so far, but he didn’t have to tell Dan that. Especially considering his dirty little secret.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is upset about Phil's reaction to HOS and starts to reminisce about how he got into fanfiction, and Phil, well, Phil has a secret too.

Brilliant, Phil smiled to himself, Dan had said the last chapter was brilliant. He had excused himself from breakfast shortly after that. He couldn’t let Dan see how proud he was. How glad he was that Dan loved his fanfic. Of course, it’s not like Dan knows it’s his fanfic, or like he would ever want Dan to know it’s his fanfic. Although, Phil has to give credit to his beta who is just absolutely amazing, sometimes nerd4Lyfe23 seems to know what Dan would say better than Phil would. It helped Phil feel confident about HOS. He never felt sure about writing fanfiction, but if it was good enough for nerd4Lyfe23 it seemed to be good enough for the whole phandom. Before he’d scored himself the best beta in the business people always said his fanfics lacked conviction. It wasn’t that people hadn’t liked his fics—he never would have gotten n4L to be his beta if he wasn't popular and at least a decent writer—it was just that he had always been holding back. When he and Dan had first started reading HOS, which was totally Dan’s idea Phil would have never suggested that, Dan had liked it so much he went to check out some other fics by the same author and he hated nearly all of them. HOS was Phil’s best fic and he knew it but he knew it was mostly because of n4L.  
“Phil?” Dan’s voice came through Phil’s bedroom door, “do you want to film a new Dil video?” Phil was startled from his revelry and quickly clicked away from the reads counter on AO3.  
“Sure, be right there!” he bounced excitedly into the living room, Dil videos were his favorite of the games videos and that totally wasn't because he couldn’t lose to Dan. “Where were we?” Phil asked sitting down next to his best friend and grinning like a two year old in a candy store, pretty much just like a normal Phil grin. Dan let out a slight giggle at the sight of the supposedly older boy’s excitement and flipped on the camera. “Hello Dan and Phil Games’ Marshmallows!”  
“Marshmallows? Why marshmallows? God Phil this has got to stop, it’s just too much pressure on you” Dan stared at Phil like he had just said he was a martian.  
“Because they're enjoying our sweet hot chocolate videos” Dan burst out laughing, that laugh that always happens in the videos he shares with Phil, full throated and uncontrollable.  
“Alright Phil,” Dan rolls his eyes, “anyway let’s jump back into the world of Dil everybody” Dan starts up the game and the two men stare at their crazy owl slide house and their sim in his crappy bed sleeping in that bizarre clown costume they chose for him. “Alright so Dil’s asleep and it’s 2 PM, he is literally becoming us. So I think today we should capitalize on our romantic mojo and take a steamy shower before our date with Tabitha. Wait, is it Tabitha?”  
“No I think it’s E Summer” Phil deadpans at Dan. Dan hits him playfully on the shoulder. ‘That would make a great start to a fluffy fic’ phil thinks before he can stop himself. Oh god, he is not going to start confusing fanfiction with reality, that’s a really dangerous rabbit hole to go down. Ooh rabbits! Phil smiles to himself and then laughs as Dil breaks another plate. “Why did we make his primary trait clumsy again? He is going to kill himself one of these days and then it will all be over.”  
“We would never let that happen to our child! You have so little faith in us Phil Lester” Dan jokes back as he checks his fringe in the camera. “The blinkin’ radio broke again Phil!”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dan glances at Phil as he turns off the camera after their Dil video. He knows if he leaves this in when he edits the video he’ll get all sorts of ‘heart eyes Howell’ comments and GIFs but he doesn’t really mind. He always finds the heart eyes Howell montages kind of adorable and they remind him of all the best video moments with Phil. His favorite is when Phil tackles him in Philisnotonfire 1. He isn’t completely sure why he loves it so much, maybe because it just seems like everything he loves about his friendship with Phil. As for the montages in general, well, he thinks it’s just sweet that the world can see love everywhere. He does love Phil of course, he’s Dan and Phil is Phil, but just as his absolute best friend in the world. Dan knows Phil is attractive, the thousands of twelve year old girls obsessed with him is proof enough of that, but Phil is like a baby brother to Dan. Maybe Phil is four years older than him but he always seems a little like he needs to be taken care of, like he really needs Dan to be there for him.  
Even though he betaed the fanfiction sometimes Dan wished he and Phil weren’t so fucking cute. Some of the things people wrote made things awkward between them, made them both feel the need to stare down at the floor rather than meet each other’s eyes after reading. It wasn’t that either of them had feelings for the other it was just that they were forced to think about the situation. Sometimes they just got scared, what if one of them felt something and it broke up their friendship like in the fics? Or what about the fact that one day they would be too old to have a roommate and still be considered successful adults. Right now though he was sitting in his room editing the video to surprise the fans and he had found a much rarer phenomenon, love eyes Lester. It was right when Phil made that stupid joke about his E. Summer mishap in the last video and Dan punched him. Dan hadn’t noticed that Phil was staring at him, he usually didn't until he was doing the editing.  
Dan had really needed to film the Dil video today, it made him feel better about the HOS chapter. He had been so sure that it was amazing but Phil had seemed to think it was kind of boring. There was always that glimmer in Phil’s eyes when he got excited about something, and Dan had seen a little bit of that today but normally Phil was happy to share his excitment. Dan couldn’t help but wonder if something weird was going on with his best friend. With the Dil videos on the other hand the boys always had crazy amounts of fun with each other. Neither of them had completely mastered the mechanics of the game so there was always that moment when one of them realized something the other hadn’t yet and they cracked each other up over it. Plus it made Dan feel like a successful adult to even be able to keep the damn sim alive.  
There were also the comments, the same reason he loved his fanfiction was part of why Dan loved making videos. Sure there are negative comments all over the internet but it was the nice ones the “you made my day” or “you guys are literally the cutest people ever” that he lives for. The idea that there were people all over the world who cared enough about him to watch 20 minutes of him and his best friend failing to play sims 4 was incredible and something he would have never dreamed of back when he made that first youtube video. With fanfiction there was a this amazing feedback about his life. Sure it wasn’t like any of it was real life, but it was still about him. The whole world cared about him enough to care about his relationship with Phil, be it platonic or romantic. Ok, so maybe not the whole world, but everyone who mattered. He was on the same level as like Sherlock or something, it was crazy.  
He remembers the first time he wrote phanfiction, the hits started to tick up and he got so excited the way he used to when he first started youtube. The numbers started kind of slow, only about 50 people looked at it the first day. He had gone to bed with a faint disappointment. The next morning when he logged in to check if he had managed to get just a few more visits. He looked at the number on his story and suddenly sat up straight and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He counted the digits just to make sure. Holy shit, 12000 hits overnight. After that Dan had begun to realize the only part of the writing he really liked was checking to make sure it felt real, so he shifted into betaing more than writing. The excitement was still the same with every fic and he had more fun than when he had been writing them. So it began, Dan was hooked and he’s still hooked, hoping that Phil never walks in on him checking up on his fics. Hoping Phil never finds out his dirty little secret.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we were a little bit like Phil in this chapter, it was like so hard for us to get to this sorry y'all we were like but we need food, ooh tumblr, ooh more food, ooh tv. But we did it and it is technically monday so ha!

Phil stared blankly at the screen, the cursor blinking threateningly. He hasn’t written anything since the last chapter, and he has his deadline to keep up. He should have sent his beta the chapter this morning, but now it’s 3 p.m. and nerd4Lyfe is probably ready to cut his head off. Phil does this far more often than he’d care to admit. The thing is if he’s working on a really important chapter, he never wants to let it go. But also, if he’s just finished with a really important chapter he never knows where to go with it. He decides to just go spend an hour with Dan, and then he promises he WILL get back to work.  
“Dan,” Phil whines peeking his head around the door, not surprised to see the brown haired boy on his laptop in bed. “I’m bored.”  
Dan jolts up, quickly closing his computer. “Shit Phil, ever heard of knocking.” Phil sticks his tongue out before launching himself at Dan. The force of Phil’s impact causes Dan to bounce up and off the bed. “Fine Phil, what do you want to do?” Dan said laughing from the floor.  
“I was thinking we could go somewhere,” Phil said.  
“Like where?”  
“Forbidden Planet?”  
“Okay, let’s go.” Dan agreed, struggling off the floor. It’s possible he got tangled in his blankets on the way down.  
It was a rare sunny day in England so they ended up going to the park. Being that Phil is an actual four year old he suggested they play tag. They couldn’t believe how quickly an hour passed as the stumbled over bushes and at one point even a fence. Till they found themselves laying on the ground shaking with laughter.  
Dan was clutching his side, “fuck I can’t run that much.”  
Phil, whilst attempting to hide his huffing and puffing, grins and says, “well I can, must be all that time at the gym.” He flexes his skinny arms  
“Actually shut up you dork.” Dan shoves him and suddenly they’re wrestling. About ten seconds in they both get tired and tap out. So they just lay side by side waiting to catch their breath.  
A half hour later they were nearly home. They opened the front door laughing as Phil replayed HOS stumbling over everything in the hallway. “Oh no Dan are you about to confess your love to me,” Phil joked.  
“Only in your dreams Lester, I want someone who can stand on their own two feet.”  
They’re in the lounge by the time Phil thinks of a way to retaliate. “You must not like yourself very much then Howell.” He says, pushing Dan, “who can’t stand on their own two feet now?”  
Dan only grins and him and say, “you,” he steps to the side and Phil tumbles onto the couch. Phil takes the chance to seize the remote, and cue up some old Buffy episodes.  
“It’s always Buffy with you.” Dan says.  
“That’s because it’s the greatest show ever.” Phil replies, pressing play on one of his favorite episodes and not allowing Dan to argue.  
They’re about to start a third episode of Buffy when Phil looks at the clock, “Oh shit!” He says, remembering the chapter he hasn’t started.  
“What?” Dan asks.  
“Um, I forgot to finish this script for a video I promised I’d have out by Friday.” Phil racks his brain trying to remember if he showed Dan his finished script. Judging by Dan’s complete lack of suspicion he knows that he hasn’t. Phil quickly flees to his bedroom and his laptop, with the still blank screen. He briefly considers just writing an apology note to his followers and just writing tomorrow, but he’s far too dedicated for that. Plus he doesn’t know what to do with his Wednesday mornings if he doesn’t read HOS with Dan.  


••••••••••••••••••••••••••••  


Dan retreats into his bedroom still smiling from his day out with Phil. He opens his laptop to the abandoned oneshot he was working on. He started to grin uncontrollably when the fictional Phil found a Shelter plushie. Phil really was adorable, both fictional and real Phil. Dan can totally imagine him having this response to a Shelter toy, there really isn’t much that he wants to change with this one. This writer could probably do a really great chaptered fic. Dan can’t help but think of how adorable that would be, they are so cute together. He puts his computer to the side for a second, contemplating about what he just thought. Maybe he has been reading too much fanfiction. He knows better than anybody that he and Phil aren’t really together, and they don’t want to be. They don’t like each other as anything more than friends. Right?  
The fanfiction writer part of Dan thinks this is the start of a crush. But the Dan part of Dan knows him better, and knows that he doesn’t like Phil. They’re just friends, and have been for six years, if they were gonna fall in love it would have happened by now. He decides he needs a distraction from thoughts like this, it’s getting a little weird. He’s supposed to be editing the new chapter of HOS, and he knows that won’t have him and Phil together in it, it’s gonna be angsty and good. It will calm down and excite him at the same time. He quickly opened an incognito tab and pulled open his email.  
Dan had been hoping to get the chapter finished before his live show, but the damn author hadn’t sent it yet. PhantasticLester does this all the time, and Dan thinks if HOS wasn’t so fucking good he would have given it up ages ago. Now he would have to stay up till four finishing it, not that he didn’t stay up till four anyway. It’s just that he had been hoping to have some tumblr time that night.  
Dan decides if he can’t edit the fic now, he might as well use this as his tumblr time. Tumblr doesn’t keep his mind from wandering though, and he thinks about his day with Phil. He thinks about how there’s no one else he would exercise that much with, he thinks about how he doesn’t obsess about his fringe when he’s with Phil, and he thinks about Phil nearly killing himself walking through the door. He thinks about Phil’s voice reading fanfiction across the breakfast table, and he thinks of the way his brain froze when Phil asked if he was about to confess his love. He doesn’t love Phil, but he’s starting to wonder if it’s more than fanfiction that makes up his dirty little secret.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peej visits, and they have a day on the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit another chapter, it's only taken us a year.

It was nine in the morning and Phil was uploading the newest chapter of HOS. Nerd4Lyfe had sent it to him after he had already gone to sleep, and he is sure that n4L is either nocturnal, from across the world, or Dan is his evil twin. Phil keeps glancing at the door hoping that Dan is on his usual late wake up schedule because he would have a lot of explaining to do if Dan saw this. Glancing back at his laptop screen he quickly hits the post button and shuts the AO3 tab. He moves into the kitchen and starts making a pot of coffee. The excitement of hearing what Dan has to say about the chapter is making him all bouncy. He’s pouring himself a bowl of Dan’s cereal, which isn’t really Dan’s because come on they live together everything is communal, when Dan comes shuffling into the kitchen.  
“Morning sleeping beauty,” Phil smirks at his friend, “usually you maintain a slightly more human sleep schedule on HOS days.” He tries to sound sincere in his mocking so Dan doesn’t realize just how grateful Phil is that he chose this particular day to sleep in.  
“I was up late last night, you know how tumblr gets,” Dan sticks out his tongue. “Anyway, let’s get to it, we have to know what happens next I mean literally I will die if we don’t get the details on this girlfriend of Phil’s." Even though Phil writes fanfiction and reads plenty of it with Dan it’s still so weird to hear him talk about a Phil that is and isn’t him all at the same time. What’s weirder is that sometimes he starts to forget the difference. Sometimes it feels like both Phils are him, like maybe both Phils are standing with spoonfuls of Dan’s cereal halfway to their lips. Maybe like both Dans are staring at him with those damn heart eyes. Phil shakes his head and pops the spoon into his mouth, he’s clearly in too deep with this whole fanfiction thing.  
“Alright, let’s get to it.” Phil says, watching as Dan cracks the laptop. Dan clears his throat about to start, but he is interrupted by the doorbell.  
“It’s unlocked,” Dan yelled, closing the computer and offering Phil a sorry smile. “Hey Peej, I forgot you were coming over.”  
Phil takes a second to glare at Dan before saying, “I was just never told you were coming over. Not that I mind, it’s always good to see you. “ He walks over and hugs PJ in greeting almost knocking his friend over with his enthusiasm. None of the three can remember exactly why PJ was meant to come over in the first place. So they end up marathoning some anime they find on Netflix and eating more than any group so small should be able to eat. Phil and Peej finish off Dan’s cereal, much to his chagrin.  
It’s PJ who hops up off the couch and suggests they all go out to catch some Pokémon around London. Phil glances back at the forgotten laptop on the kitchen table as they walk out, regretting that they didn’t get the chance to read today’s chapter. He smiles as they head down the sidewalk pulling his phone out and watching for the last Eevee he needs to get the final evolution. “Holy fuck there’s a Snorlax nearby!” Dan shouts breaking into what might be a run if he were more fit. PJ practically vaults over a small stone wall nearly knocking over an old lady walking her dog. Phil catches himself checking out Dan’s ass as he runs behind his friends. He shakes it off, admitting that you’d have to be blind to miss how good the boy looks in the skinny jeans. It doesn’t matter anyway the park is filled with rare Pokémon today and Phil intends to catch ‘em all.  
Thirty minutes later they’ve caught the Snorlax, a million Rattatas, and a god damn Gyrados so it’s been a pretty good day. Plus Phil managed to get a Dratini from one of his 10 K eggs. Phil can’t remember who suggested it but they’ve decided to make their way to a pub Dan and Phil like in central London for some drinks before PJ goes home. At this point Phil’s just glad there won’t be too much more walking he’s tired and his phone is on 15%. 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dan plops down into the booth thankful to give his legs and his cellphone a rest. They order a round of drinks for the table and some chips. “Peej you better get your ass down to London more often, it’s not that far and we haven’t seen you in ages.” He means the words when he says them but he also can’t help but think how much he wants to get back to the flat with Phil, get cozy, and read HOS. He looks over at his best friend eating chips like a total slob and lets out a pointed sigh, raising his eyebrows jokingly.  
“What?” Phil demands salt raining out of his full mouth, “You got a problem with my glorious table manners?”  
“Don’t they teach you how to close your mouth in the north?”  
“In fact they don’t.” Phil taunts chewing dramatically with his mouth open. PJ’s contribution to the disagreement is to grab two chips and chuck them simultaneously at the boys landing one square in the middle of their foreheads.  
“This is why I don’t come down to London more often, I can’t stand too much of you two arguing like an old married couple.” The two look at eachother then in perfect sync grab a chip nonchalantly and toss them at PJ, high fiving when each leaves a tiny grease spot on one of the boy’s cheeks.  
“We may be an old married couple but we got game,” Dan teases taking a triumphant sip of his drink. He catches Phil’s eye and sees his own mirth reflected back, he leans back in his chair feeling good. At least, until the chair pitches backwards and dumps him onto the floor. “Fucking hell” he struggles to get up but his foot is caught under the table and his drink has spilled all over his face.  
“Not so smug now, are we?” PJ quips, although maybe regretting it when Dan tips Peej’s chair backwards dumping him down on the floor too. “You are a child Howell.“  
“You should be expecting him to play dirty Peej.”  
“Only for you Phil,” Dan teases, winking dramatically as he finally stands up. “Oh and Lester?” He waits for Phil to look up then tips the black haired boy’s fruity cocktail over onto his lap. “Even my old married couple husband isn’t safe from my wrath.” The tension in the room breaks and all three boys break out into laughter. Dan imagines if they were home Phil would have been throwing things at them by now but instead they all settle back into their chairs and order another round, this one hopefully won’t end up in their laps.  
Dan is definitely buzzed as he and Phil walk together on the way back to their flat having left PJ behind at the train station. He smells like a brewery, but Phil smells like a girl’s perfume with a hint of vodka so maybe he’s better off. Suddenly he has an idea, although he wonders if it might be the alcohol but really he doesn’t care. “Phil, we should go swim in that fountain, it can wash the drinks, off plus it would be so fun,” He surprises himself with one of the girliest giggles he’s ever heard, maybe he had more to drink than he thought. He forgets to think about that though because Phil smiles and grabs his arm dragging him toward the fountain.  
For a moment the thought that Dan doesn’t want his hair to get curly flashes across his mind, but this is Phil who has seen him with hobbit hair a thousand times, why should he suddenly care? Besides at that point Phil already has him hopping into the cold water then tipping them both sideways till the water breaks across his cheek. He barely has time to catch a breath before he’s under the water and when he comes up Phil splashes a giant wave right at him. “That’s for my cocktail Howell,” He laughs but turns away too quickly to be caught by Dan’s retaliatory attack.  
“You’re not getting away from me that easily,” Dan lunges at Phil knocking him into the water. “You’re my bitch now Lester,” He hangs his arms around Phil’s neck, now behind him, ready to tackle the boy all over again if he has to. Laughing all over again the boys climb out of the fountain and start to head home. He looks at his best friend with his shirt plastered against his lean frame and he thinks it’s time to admit that _Phil_ may be his dirty little secret.


End file.
